So I have told you what I learned being married to a Drag Queen and also debunked 10 myths about Drag Queens. All that got me thinking I should write a survival guide for any current or future Drag Husband. Think of me as your Drag Husband Jedi. Every good Jedi has a master though, so I turned to my Drag Husband Jedi for a little help. Drag Husbands long before Mr. Von B was even around. A huge thank you to my friends Mr. Bedd and Big n Tasty for their help with this Drag Husband Survival Guide.
Now to me there is a difference between some one who is married to a Drag Queen and a Drag Husband. Some one who is married to Drag Queen does not have as much of an active role in their Queen’s life. Yes, they’ll attend most shows and I’m sure give advice when needed, however they are more in the background. A Drag Husband is at every show or at least 99 % of shows and has an active role. Drag Husbands help with a lot of the planning, promoting and running of shows along with every day decisions about Drag. I’m not saying one is better than the other. What ever works for the couple is what is the most important.
No matter what type of husband you are, being married to a Drag Queen can be difficult hence the reason for the following Drag Husband Survival Guide:
Know when to talk and when to just listen.
Wear clothes with extra pockets to hold lipgloss, cigarettes, powder puffs, stage accessories and tips. Just because she has a purse, don’t assume she wants to use it. Think of investing in a Drag Utility Belt.
Things said in the heat of the moment are just that, it’s your job to employ the 24 hour rule prior to reacting.
Print the lineup, orchestrate the lineup and remember the lineup.
Always remember what the dates are of her upcoming shows.
Distract her with something shiny if she starts to stress about anything. Drag is supposed to be fun and it’s your job to do whatever it takes to keep it that way.
Speak only for yourself and make this clear. Some people assume what you’re saying is what she’s thinking.
Know where her drink is and have it ready for her as she exits the stage.
Watch her performances and gauge audience response, sometimes it’s hard to see past a spotlight. You’d be amazed what you can hear when nobody knows who you are. Audiences often times may enjoy a number but not feel comfortable walking up to tip an entertainer.
Constructive criticism needs to be cautiously offered (very cautiously).
Be able to carry rolling suitcases, bags of props, a make up case, purse, wig heads with very large wigs and all personal belongings for both you and she so that the Drag Queen is able to make a proper entrance and meet & greet with the customers, bar staff and other entertainers.
Never throw any of HER DRAG away. As soon as you want to throw away a prop unused for several seasons, or a sparkly piece of fabric, or an outfit she no longer wears, or a hamper full of hair or a piece of broken jewelry, inevitably that is precisely what she was planning to wear for her next performance.
Do not EVER suggest she does not need new drag, a queen always needs something new no matter how much they have.
Under no circumstances do you ever rush a Drag Queen. Drag Time and Real Time are not the same thing.
Do not react to comments said about her. Part of performing is putting oneself out there and people some times will be negative. It’s not personal and you have to remember that.
Be sure to always have dollar bills on you when she is performing especially if it is a new venue or crowd. Sometimes it only takes one person to tip first before the rest of the audience will tip. Be that first person when needed.
Be her #1 FAN.
Always remember what you say and do is a reflection of her and for some Queens her drag family. Do nothing that can harm that image.
Shows start late in the evening, be prepared for late and sometimes long evenings.
Popularity and success comes from being seen. This means multiple nights a week of being out for shows, which means not only her shows but other Queen’s as well.
Support not just your Queen but others as well. It’s important to not only her but the drag community as a whole.
Is she is “not feeling drag” on any given night you may be required to pick out outfits and music. Plus have those set and ready to go for the next number when she comes off stage. You don’t want her to use any more energy then required on those nights or it could turn bad in your favor.
Know your venues so the best costuming and music can be chosen so the crowd will respond.
If it seems she is doing multiple shots at a given venue, supply a “chaser or beer”. That way if she feels the shot is not something she likes or she can’t do another shot, while on stage, she can recycle it into the chaser or beer bottle, so everyone thinks she has finished the shot.
It is always your responsibility to make sure she has EVERYTHING she needs before she leaves the house, this includes but not limited to music, costumes, sashes, crowns, extra outfits, corsets and jewelry. Even if she says she has everything it is still your responsibility. If you don’t you could be in store for some extra drives home to pick these items back up for any important show or event.
At the end of the day it’s just men in dresses.
So there you have it a Survival Guide to being a Drag Husband. Some of these tips are easier than others to master. So save this Survival Guide, find your Queen and be the best Drag Husband you can be. May the drag be with you.