Guest Blog – Ramblings of a Queen
I don’t see myself as that difficult to get along with. Mr. Von B may disagree, and he has good reason, I suppose.
Living with me and socializing with me are two entirely different things, as they probably are for most people.
The divisions and politics in the drag industry frustrate me. Were I asked my platform at the Miss America Pageant, I’d not say “and world peace”. I’d settle for “drag world peace”. Funny right? Now don’t get me wrong, I can bitch about someone or something with the best of them, but typically it’s only after I’ve been offended, either personally or my friends or family were offended.
I do strive to get along with people and admittedly am not always successful. There are times I’ve tried and, you know what? At the end of the day I just can’t stand someone, I’m just going to avoid them. I don’t talk to them, interact with them, comment on posts, text, email or call. You get where I’m going right? I will typically remove these folks from my news feed. The next step, if they are huge assholes is to just unfriend them. While that works better on my “boy” page, (my security settings are set like Fort Knox), so if you aren’t my “friend” you don’t see me, my posts, or find me doing a name search. Some folks think they’ve been blocked, and that’s just not the case.
Now on Vivian’s page, my posts and albums are open to the general public, and even if I unfriend someone they will remained “subscribed” to me, so they see my posts, etc. I’ve said before I enjoy a good blocking. The most amusing thing about the blocking, they still nose around and read the diary. That, in and of itself, speaks volumes to me. Sneaky, sneaky….if you want to keep tabs on me, have at it. If you want to be really good at it, text me and remind me of where I’m supposed to be….I’ve missed several brow waxings as well as a couple of hair appointments. At least put your stalking skills to good use!
I started out supporting all queens in shows I attended. If the Mr. & I attend a show, we would, as a general rule, tip all performers. If I’m in a show, Mr. Von B will tip all the performers, since I don’t like anyone to see a costume before I go on stage to perform. My mindset has changed of late, and it’s really due to the actions of said queens. I find that if you, as a fellow drag performer, are all too happy to snatch that tip from MY outstretched hand, then you should be considerate enough to tip those who support you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone to shows and not had the money to tip, so I just hang in the back, or I only have a few dollars, I’ll tip the queen who’s show it is. And I totally understand that when the situation is reversed. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe everyone in the audience has to tip every performer. I’m specifically talking about fellow sisters tipping sisters, whom they know. Sure, it’s your money, you can tip as you see fit, but again, so can I. I always tipped everyone, new to the stage or not, because I didn’t want anyone to feel bad if they realized I didn’t tip them. It’s a different place now. So I no longer tip all of the queens in a show.
I respect those who have come before me. They usually understand that respect is earned, not demanded. I’m not even going to get into seasoned queens vs. new queens. I think newbies have it tough enough, learning the art of drag, costuming, painting, body, hair, shoes, music selections, just getting booked. I probably fall somewhere in the middle. I’m not technically new, nor am I seasoned. Sometimes I like my eyes and the way I’ve painted and other times I don’t. I’m still learning. If it were easy everyone would do it, right? We have all had our “booger” queen moments, to use a term generally looked at as negative. But I’ll own it, there are some photos that are not all that flattering, but you know what, you can see progress, and that’s a good thing. We can’t appreciate where we are if we don’t remember where we’ve come from.
I’ve been very open about my life as a drag queen. Had I known then what I know now about the sheer expense involved, I’d have never started it. I’m too far in to quit, and really, I’m not a quitter anyway.