He/She

Pronouns and Drag can some times get confusing. When some one performs in drag the accepted etiquette is to refer to them by the opposite pronouns. So a woman in drag would be a he and a man in drag would be a she. That in itself isn’t too confusing.

Now the confusion comes from when they are out of drag. Most Drag Queens especially ones that have been performing for a while are normally referred to by their drag name whether they are in or out of drag. So now you have a man not in drag being referred to by their drag name. This is not too confusing when their drag name is a little off the wall but when their drag name is some “normal’ it can get confusing; especially if you are out socializing with a bunch of queens out of drag.

Picture this: Columbus Ohio, Union Café, a group of guys out in public and the majority are referring to each other and answering to female names.

Now if you know they are Drag Queens it makes sense but if you didn’t you would be like WTF. In situations like this I never know what name to use. Half the time I can be heard using their boy name and drag name. I will say a lot of Drag Queens are so used to their drag names that some times they don’t answer to their boy name. This has happened to Vivian more and more when I’m trying to talk to her at home. 😉

Then there are the conversations I have about my drag queen friends or husband with others not in the drag community. I can he heard switching back and forth between he and she when referring to Vivian or other Queens in the same sentence sometimes. I find referring to Jeff by her or her even if I’m discussing him in 100 % non drag ways more often than not. Sometimes I find myself thinking to myself did I really just refer to my husband as a woman.

Others that don’t know Jeff but know Vivian almost always refer to Jeff with female pronouns even if they are talking to me about Jeff as Jeff not Vivian. There is no disrespect meant by them it’s just they know Jeff as Vivian and Vivian is a she to them. I guess in some ways it’s a compliment it means Vivian is a good illusion. On second thought……lol.

So as you can see it’s a crazy world of pronouns when it comes to drag.