6-6-2006 to 2-4-2017
Baby boy it has been almost 2 weeks since we had to say goodbye and it still hurts. Just when I think I’m over the pain it comes rushing back making my heart ache all over again. I’m not sure I am ever going to get over saying goodbye to you. The decision to say goodbye to you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There are nights as soon as I close my eyes I see your precious face laying there so peaceful no longer in pain and as much as I know saying good bye was the right thing to do I still can’t help feel guilty for making that decision.
You were our baby boy. You were with us when we moved into the house, you were there when we brought Luki home. You were there when Vivian was created. When we had to say goodbye to my dad you were there, and once again when we had to say goodbye to Pugs. Even though you weren’t really sure of Zeus you were there when we made the decision to save him. I can’t think of any decision or moment of our lives that you weren’t there and to be honest not having you there for future ones just doesn’t feel right.
I can’t tell you how many times since you have been gone that I have thought of selling the house. I know for some that may seem strange and extreme but right now at this point in time this house feels so empty, so lonely. Even though I know this isn’t the case I can’t stop feeling that way. You ran the house, you kept us all safe and I miss that feeling.
I’m doing to best to keep “good daddy” safe and secure but it’s not an easy job. You made it look so easy and for you and your big little brother, Pugs, I’m doing the best I can, but to be honest we are both lost and not sure how what to do without you. I know in time things will hopefully get easier and the pain will lessen but right now it’s just so painful and lonely. The one small glimmer I hope I have is knowing that I will see you and Pugs at the Rainbow Bridge when it is my time to say goodbye.
I also know that if the time should come that I can open my heart up to another fur baby that it will be you in your new puppy life and just like 12 years ago you will choose us.
Till I see you again Baby Boy.