Vivianisms # 1 – 27

So Vivian has been posting what she likes to call her Vivianisms and I thought it would be a good idea to collect them here on the Diary. As you can see her numbering is a little off but she wouldn’t let me correct the numbering:

Vivianism #1 – I’ve sewn 3 or 4 of my own wigs (having been taught by the one and only Tony Cody) I find it much easier to buy them from The SweatShoppe, you see it takes me like 12 hours to sew those tracks on…Tony does it in like an hour. ‪#‎themoreyouknowaboutdrag

 Vivianism #2. I’m still using Max Factor panstick, hoarded stash, Rich Beige. It’s not longer sold in the US, of Max Factor stopped producing for US sales at about the same time Nina & Virginia West were teaching me the fine art of painting a drag face. While there are still places that have some of the other shades still available, mine is gone. Fear not, I’ve got the Kryolan equivalent color identified. Sadly the MF was about $8 tube while Kryolan is nearly $20. Drag ain’t cheap ladyboys…

Vivianism #3 Communication. I was a speech communication and theater major in college…and there are times I still manage to fail to communicate. So instead of just flat out addressing the issue at hand, I stew about it, do just bout anything to avoid unpleasantness. But alas, those actions in and of themselves only serve to compound the problem for all parties. In the drag community, communication is more your lifeline than anything else…trust you me, the

Vivianism #4 (I think…I may or may not have lost count) I’m way overdue. I’m guessing that most of you have seen, or at least heard of the flick “Scent of a Woman”.

Well let’s twist that a bit to “Scent of a Queen”. First off…that “scent” should never be acrid body odor – however faint or strong enuf to take down an elephant, ass or feet. Let’s face it, save that “ripe” shit for your next craigslist advt. Purchase a parfume….doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive…just something to keep you smellin’ good. This NEVER…I repeat N E V E R takes the place of a good deodorant/antiperspirant. Secret, strong enuf for a man right? You’re a man in a dress right? USE some DAMN deodorant. Nothing worse than someone stanking up a whole dressing room. I”ll be as far away from you and aim my fan at you in a hot second. If it’s my show, you can step OUT of the dressing room to get ready…..Lawdy!

My first parfume was a small little bottle, from eBay for $68. Yea, that didn’t last too long, nor did if fly with M.r. Von B…he hated the smell and even more, the price. I tried a $9.99 scent from CVS, not bad, but it didn’t “last” so I got some $10 free gift at Perfumania and I actually LIKED it…so I recently ran out…ugh! So I checked Perfumania’s website, yep, BOGO…$68 for the first, = $34 for the second…lord I knew the M.r. wasn’t gonna go for it…so I waited. I found it on the eBay, $11.99 a bottle, free shipping! SCORE! I ordered 5 bottles. Yep, I did that. Still less than one full price bottle…my witty lil logic was all OVER that shit.

Oddly enuf, the name of said “Scent of Vivian” is none other than “Queen”. Makes me giggle every time I look at that stack of 4 unopened boxes of it on my dresser.

(this is long enough to count at Vivianism’s 4 & 5.) ‪#‎vivianism‬ ‪#‎ramblingsofaqueen

Vivianism #6 (I was afraid if I waited until tomorrow to post, I’d forget it) You get out of this life what you put into it. You shovel crap and negaitivity – that’s what you’ll reap. If you put positive energy, love and light you will be in a great place.

Drama and backbiting and smack talk certainly gets around…so I learned that I really need to just ‘ladyboy” up and resolve things. So to those that I blew it with…my apologies, it was never my intention to make things worse. Mad love and respect to my fellow performers…

 Vivianism #7 – The downside of weekday drag shows is the morning after. While I have no discernible makeup left on my face, I have the puffy, red, itchy eyes as proof of being out past my 7:00 PM bedtime

Vivianism #8 (yes, I double checked, we’re on 8 now) I learn something every single time I attend a drag show. It may be the good, the bad or the ugly, but I take something away each time I see someone perform. It may prompt me to make a change or it may confirm that I’m on the right track. Regardless, I’m always learning.

Vivianism #10 (yes, per Keith Speers I repeated 7) I’m more than a little anal retentive about my jewelry. I have little metal cases for everything, with labels on the top and side. The newest edition to the cases is egg crate foam to hold everything firmly and gently in place. I mean, it ain’t cheap…I’m always cleaning it too…

Vivianism #11 Ugly comes from within. You can paint the best face, wear the most expensive and extravagant costumes, hair & jewelry, but if you’re arrogant, entitled, disprespectful and rude nobody’s got time for that.

Vivianism #12 (I think) Supporting your fellow entertainers isn’t limited to those that appear in a show with you, or a bar with you…it’s really all across the board. Sometimes it’s tough when most shows don’t kick off until 11:00 or so. I always appreciate seeing a friendly face in the crowd…so I try to do the same. I’m committed to making a better effort.

Vivianism #13 Who knew fans came in so many shapes and colors. Feathers are expensive too! If you’re competing in any sort of pageant at anytime in the future…please…do EVERYONE connected with drag (female illusion for you fancier types) a favor and DO NOT have your back up dancers use Feather Fans, Star Fans, ANY kind of fan. Of the top 12 Sunday night, I can name ONE performer who didn’t use them. Maybe one other. Even if 10 of the 12 used them, why would you want to do what everyone else is doing? Stand out and be unique. (and save some serious money)

Vivianism #14 Remember where you came from, and those that helped you get to where you are. It wouldn’t hurt to thank them for their help either! <wink>

Vivianism #14 Marilyn Monroe said Diamonds are a girls best friend. The ADHD dog in the Disney flick “UP” hey look squirrel oooh something SHINY! I’m no different. As evidenced by the jewelry that I’ll be picking up from Nova tomorrow, and the costumes from Patrick & Troy I have a penchant for all things sparkly. I rarely look at non-sparkly fabric these days…my eyes scan the racks at Joann’s for the glitter, the sequins, the eye catching gleam of some reflective quality. I will never forsake my first love…taffeta, plain, wrinkly, flocked…that “swoooosh” it makes as it moves by you…alas. It can be stoned, if needed, or accessorized with fabulously large earrings, rings, bracelet or a necklace. I just….ooooooh look, something shiny……

Vivianism #15 as homage to my 14th Vivianism I now have some stoning to do on a costume for next weekend. I love me some sparkles, shine and such…so it’s time to takeover the living room with a table, chair and my glue syringe…you may want to have some shades ready when the lights hit this one!

Vivianism #16 I am not a fan of Mondays and while I get the whole “it’s a fresh new start to life…it’s still the rudest mofo reminder that my weekend is friggin OVER! <wink>

Vivianism #18 (I’ve lost track again….) I was taught growing up, that above all else, you told the truth. The times that I didn’t do so, did not end well for me. My lessons were well learned.

A couple of sayings; “A liar has no memory.” Think about it, one a yarn is spun, the details change every time the story is repeated.

“All things done in darkness eventually come to light.” Pretty self explanatory. Lies are always found out.

I’ll stick to my upbringing and stand by the truth. I’ve got NO time or place in my life for those who lie.

Vivianism #19 Stoning costumes brings my OCD out in all it’s glory!

Vivianism #20 (yea, no friggin’ clue) You’ve heard “if you build it they will come”….well “If I go there I will buy it”….yep, sequin fabric, 40% off, plus my generous 15% off total purchase coupon….YES I did….I bought the 3 1/4 yards they had left….and I’m not sorry!

Vivianism #21 (nailed this one) Be a man/woman/queen/king of your word. If you say you’re going to do something – do it. Afterall, it IS your reputation on the line, right?

Vivianism #22 (I think) Remember when we our next birthday couldn’t arrive quickly enough? 16 we could drive, 18 we’d graduate from high school, 21 was the legal drinking age….now we develop ailments, reading glasses at 40, 55 membership in AARP, 65 social security (lol, right?) 72 retirement? This year I seem to have developed arthritis in my left elbow….and my father told me that it skipped a generation..

Vivianism #23 (yea, I’ve not no clue where I’m at…. Keith, Curty?) I’ve come up with a new social media site, it’s call “Hatebook”….it’s for those who find it friggin’ impossible to say something nice…and can only focus on the negative in situations. I won’t be a memeber, I won’t administrate…cuz y’all can just destroy each other with your toxic behavior. Now if you’re interested in becoming a member there, DELETE yo’ ass from my fb page. I’m recently too old to deal with your constant drama. Thankfully one left over the bday gift EVER! <wink>

Vivianism #25 (yea, beats me too) RESPECT. There are debates whether it should be given or earned. I guess my school of thought, give it until it’s not earned by the recipient. Bottom line, give it because you WANT to, not because someone says you have to, or demands it. Clearly those types DO NOT deserve it. Be genuine.

Vivianism #26 (which does follow 25) <this relates to #25> When you’re at a venue, don’t dismiss those that you don’t think can be of any use in getting a paid booking. I always try to be friendly to eveyone in a bar, I may not always be 100% successful…none of us can be. BUT, that being said, once you find out who the person booking the acts is, don’t do an about face from ignoring them to kissing ass/sucking up, that just makes you look foolish. You already lost your first impression.

Vivianism #26 When your motivation comes from the right place you cannont help but succeed.

Vivianism #27 We all rally against bullies, Westboro Baptist Church, classmates who eventually wear down children who then try to take thier own lives, with many being successful, yet we have them right in our midst, in our own LGBTQ community…those are the most disgusting of all bullies.