Vivianisms 37 – 50

Vivianism #37 Rarely do any entertainers have the time to be pressing or ironing costumes only to put them back in a garment bag, or suitcase to take to the venue (pageants are a totally different story) only to arrive at the bar all wrinkled again. Do yourself a favor and puchase some Downy wrinkle release….when you arrive hang up your costume and spray the heck out of both sides with it, allow to dry and you’ll look MUCH more professional when you take the stage! After all who wants to see a queen in a wrinkled costume?

Vivianism #38 I was just messaged and asked what my advice was for learning to walk in heels. I’ve been told that you should wear them to vaccum the carpets in your house. It strengthens the muscles in your ankles and calves alike…and if you’re a dude and haven’t walked in heels put this on your to do list. Also, start out with a lower heel. I foolishly donned a pair of 4 inch stilettos and traipsed around Highball in the Short North one year…only lasted half the night, walked about 8 blocks in my stocking feet and ended up tearing a ligament AND a tendon that required surgery a year later….learn from my mistakes!

Vivianism #39 Keep your costumes in good repair. It’s to be expected that you’ll get seams that come apart, tears in hem or legs of a costume where a heel catches, maybe a nail or some trim on a stage, etc. I’m more than a little OCD, or anal retentive about my costumes, just ask M.r. Von B. They have to be hung certain way, sleeves NOT tucked over a hanger to minimize wrinkling, etc. So I give my pieces the once over and trim loose strings, check for holes in the underarms (very common place and very visible on stage) and then start a little mending “pile” of sorts. One of my sewing machines at the studio has white thread and if the repair won’t be visible on the outside, I sit down and do them all at one time.

Vivianism #40 Baby wipes, a queens best friend with a couple of uses. You may have seen an entertainer use them to wipe off makeup, but you can also use them to remove makeup from costumes as well. Certainly helps in a pinch until you can spot-hand-wash a neckline or shoulder when you get home.

Vivianism # 41 The only power words have over you is the power you give them.

Vivianism #42 Sometimes I am forced to just laugh at the hypocritical behavior of some of the posts that make their way into my facebook news feed. Don’t claim to be the prude about the gay community on your public side and then be a sex starved pervert in private. Eventually the those two worlds will collide and who will look the fool then? I’m all what you see is what you get. I make no bones about who I am and what I do & don’t do…no shade here…just be who you are and embrace….if you aren’t comfortable with who you are, then shut the hell up. I’ve found those that persecute the most are the ones WITH the same exact issues as those they go after…

Vivianism #43 How do you store a full length ball gown petticoat? A reinforced Christmas tree bag from The Container Store….that’s how!

Vivianism #44 Generosity, a perfect example of this was at the benefit Friday night, and while I don’t mean to embarrass this individual, she had the winning ticket for the 50/50 drawing…and her share was $242…not too shabby, right? Well, she whispered in my ear that she would donate the winnings back to the Michael Morones Foundation in exchange for one simple thing….to have her photo taken with the drag queens and You Will Rise Guys & Gals…..of course we did it, and not for the $….what a sweet, caring and special person she is. THANK you Teresa Hartman Flemings….you touched the hearts of everyone there Friday night!

Vivianism #45 Plan ahead! with the impending Columbus Arts Festival this weekend all but surrounding 400 W Rich St, and the parking nightmares that come with it, the Mr. and I pulled my costumes, wigs, etc. for the June edition of the Three Ring Drag Brunch at Circus. As it was we each made two trips to get it all to the car. Overpack you say? NEVER!

Vivianism #46 Just because someone has “keyboard diarrhea” and splatters it all over facebook doesn’t mean it’s true.

Vivianism #47 Be carefull where you look and what your eyes see….cuz once it’s seen, your eyes can’t UNSEE it. (as I sit here trying to claw my eyes out..)

Vivianism #48 While it’s true that the camera may just LOVE (Bob Taylor…wink), others it may smile kindly at from time to time…and there are some it hates. While I’ve experienced all three types, I do try to keep in mind the overall look when I’m painting, selecting hair, jewels, costumes, and the fit off said hair and costumes….seriously give yourself a critical once over before you venture out….especially if you KNOW you’re going out in face specifically to be photographed….afterall it’s YOUR brand that you’re representing. Sure, candid shots can be frightening…they typically make me laugh, I’m really talking about purposeful, photos that you pose for….you owe it to yourself to look your best…and the rest of us that have to loook at that new profile/cover photo on the facebook, right?

Vivianism #49 I read a post from someone starting out in drag and they were posting asking for tips (suggestions) which is GREAT! Learn from those who came before you…that’s the best way to avoid mistakes and frustrate yourself. The other part of the post was them asking for donations. That’s like wanting to start riding a motorcycle and asking someone to donate one to you cuz you want to ride. Get a grip, we all have things we’d like to do….but can’t afford them. So we don’t do them OR we save our pennies until such time we can. Pay your way. That’s life.

Vivianism #50 Here’s a lesson I’ve learned, we’ve all wanted to go off on facebook, read some ignorant bitch who wronged you by saying something to/about you, looked at you crooked, or disrespected one of your friends. Or even worse, it was told/texted/facebook’d to you that they did one of the above. Wrongly or rightly, it usually just makes the poster of said read look the fool…let’s change that, ALWAYS makes the poster look the fool. I’d suggest you select one of several courses of action…. 1) privately text/call/message the alleged offender and flat out ask them about it (probably the most appropriate and quickest way to resolution) Oh wait, did I say several? I meant select THAT one…it’s really the only way to go. If indeed they fess up to the offense, instead of blasting them on fb – yes, even if they were in the wrong, don’t. Stop and think about it. All you will end up doing is starting/continuing with the drama. No one else really cares what others think….and you shouldn’t care either, when it comes down to it. I have found that penning a response spouting off everything you want say to them is actually quite therapeutic. Just don’t send the email/message/text. I usually do it in a WORD document format. It’s quite cleansing.
Lastly, make sure you have all the facts before you shoot off your mouths….rarely is what was relayed to you actually what was said. Think about how many times you yourself have been misquoted…..cuz ladyboy’s, if you’re doing drag, it’s happened. If you think it hasn’t, you’re not attached to reality.
Bottom line, everyone has dirty laundry…don’t air it on facebook. You’ll look the fool. Sure, it’s your page, your thoughts, you can post whatever you want. Remember, anyone who reads it can come to a conclusion about you based on your page, your thoughts. It is, afterall, YOUR Reputation.