Vivianisms #51-98

Happy Reading. Vivian’s latest Vivianisms. She is 2 away from 100 maybe when she reaches 100 we’ll publish The Book of Viv: Volume I.

Vivianism #51 I personally feel that feather fans, like the mullet or black dress socks with atheltic shoes, should be banned from futher use. Stop the madness. Do we need to start a petition?
Vivianism # 52 I personally find arrogance one of the most unattractive personality traits and while there is nothing wrong with self confidence, it can quickly become the former if not kept in check. Humility, on the other hand is one of my favorites…it kept unchecked can become self deprecating…..my point…balance is critical.
Vivianism #53 I grew up being taught to always tell the truth, to never lie. Of course I’ve strayed from those lessons in my life, we all have (and if you say you’ve never lied, you JUST did! lol). No shame in it, we live and learn. One thing I have learned is that “A liar has no memory.” Think about that one for a moment, let it sink in. 

Apparently we don’t call it lying any longer as we just share different versions of the truth. There is the “public truth”, you know, the story as we want the general public to believe. There is the “whispered truth”, or rumor as it’s commonly known. The “private truth”, or real truth is rarely spoken outside of tight little groups, for fear that if it got out, that “real truth” would be called “SHADE”. The “T” as it’s called, short for “truth” really seems to me to be much less truth and a lot more or the “whispered truth”.

”You can’t handle the TRUTH” as it was yelled in a move courtroom, rings as fairly accurate. Most people don’t want the truth. Why? Because “truth hurts”. Not sure why, unless I’ve just asked you if this costume makes my ass look big, and you holla Hell Yea, it does. Woudn’t that just be mean? Hence the “little white lie”. Afterall you don’t want me telling you your ass looks big, do ya? 

Can’t “truth” just be plain old truth again?
Vivianism #54 If you are truly as miserable as you are always posting, then by all means, DO something about your situation, be it your job, your relationship, your living arrangements, JUST STOP POSTING how you hate it all. Now, granted we all have bumps in the road and we may feel inclined to vent, and that’s fine. But if every damn post, every comment on someone else’s post you have to make it negative and about you….face it, YOU are most likely the problem. Life is too short, so enjoy it!
Vivianism #55 The only person who has the ability to make a FOOL of you, is indeed YOU. Sure, things happen to us, daily, that we have no control over. But here’s the thing, HOW you react to lifes ups and downs is all you baby. I can’t make anyone look like a fool….because the minute I TRY and make someone else look bad, I’m making ME look bad, the fool, the ass, or ultimately the bitch. Trust me, if you ARE a fool, given enough time you’ll show yourself and your true colors, I don’t need to get invovled in that. I’ve got enough work to do on me and mine.
Vivianism #56 Your Brand, or reputation as it may be, is everything. Create it, grow it & protect it, because at some point in the future that brand will be what makes you sought after, what makes others want to work with you. After all, it’s your name at the end of the day, right?

Vivianism #57 We all have our moments that we’re proud of, that we’re embarassed by, that we laugh or we cry…that’s what makes us human. No shame in that. Don’t let life and all those wonderful moments slip by you, live YOUR life, laughter, tears, pride and humility….without all of them the others aren’t that special.
Vivianism #58 A word to the wise…label the colors on your LaFemme pallet refills…cuz if you don’t you have to guess which color is which when it’s time to reorder…and it’s not all that easy. Help….in related news I need to clean my brushes.
Vivianism #59 Apparently there is some truth to the old joke, if it’s in print or on the internet it MUST be true. Does everyone REALLY believe some of the crap posted on here? Open your eyes and use your brain. Just wow…. W O W!
Vivianism #60 …there really are times when scrolling thru the facebook feeds on a Monday morning that you can’t help but think “who the hell told them that was working for them”. OK, so it’s not actually a positive post, it’s not a read…but please on ALL THAT IS HOLY, one of my friends please tell me if something isn’t looking right…like a truck ran over my face or something….have mercy on a large framed gal! DISCLAIMER: It’s not always buttercups and roses out there…neither are all my posts. <wink>
Vivianism #61 the sinks, soaps and paper towels are there for you to use them after handling your junk gentlemen. I am almost sick at the number of “bro’s” who don’t wash their hands after shakin off their cock.
Vivianism #62 I was having dinner with a friend last night and our conversation ran gamut of topics, from how we met our partners, to ex’s, to how we first met and how similar our men were….etc. I eventually found myself making a comment that I’ve made many times….”Had I known 5 years ago, what I know now regarding the expense of drag as well as the messed up politics, I’d have never started”. Well, I need to retract that statement. Drag has afforded me so many incredible opportunities to meet people that I otherwise never would have. I’ve been able to give back to my community via fundraisers and charitable work….so NO, I would still choose this path. I wouldn’t change a thing about it, the good and the bad, have all shaped who I am as an entertainer and even more so as a person. I’ve made some incredible friendships….how could I ever think for a minute that I could have passed those up? So, nope, I’m quite happy with where I’m at right now. I’ll continue to do this until it’s not fun any longer. Sorry, some of you may have hoped for Vivian’s demise sooner than later! <wink>
Vivianism #63 All this business about “your truth” or “my truth”….there is only ONE truth….the actual TRUTH. Just because you will it, or want it to be so or post it on facebook or some other social media site, it’s still ain’t the truth people. Why as adults can we not seem to actually ACT like adults?
Vivianism #64 I am again reminded how very fragile life is…some much more than others. Treasure each day, tell those you love just how much you love them! It can all change in the blink of an eye!
Vivianism #67 One thing I have absolutely no tolerance for is a liar. Lies and half truths torpedo all trust…and that is rarely, if ever, able to be restored.
Vivianism #68 The truth will always, without fail, become known. Things done in the dark will come to light. I, for one, am quite thankful for that.
Vivianism #69 (yep…couldn’t skip it) I find it rather sad that people can’t share an opinion without insulting the opinions of others…as if that makes yours any more valid than that of another. Everyone has them, everyone is entitled to them, and everyone can share them. When will our community STOP tearing others down to build ones own self up?
Vivianism #70 Let’s set the scene, a friend starts seeing someone, you become fb friends as well, these two friends break up, the “newer” friend unfriends you because, well he met you through the “ex”. How screwed up is that? It irritates me to no end. So we can’t be friends because….why? That ever happen to anyone? No? Me either. <wink>
Vivianism #71 If you throw 2 stones in different spots in the same pond, the resulting ripples will eventually cross…..food for thought….
Vivianism #72 I’ve always been one to think for myself. I formulate my own opinions all on my own. I don’t know which is worse, those that allow others to tell them how to think, behave or what to do, or those that are actually the ones doing the telling. I don’t respect either, so I guess it doesn’t much matter which one is worse. I’ve got no time for any of that. So my advise, take it or leave it, is that you formulate your own opinions about people, places or things based on YOUR experience….not the experiences of others….as their motives may not be pure.
Vivianism #73 Actions speak far louder than words. Often times just the mere presence of a friend means more than any rambling prose or rhetoric. The thought that goes into taking the time to stop by or select and drop a card in the mail…those are the things that mean the most to me. It can even be poppin’ by my fb wall and posting or sending a message…it’s the thought that counts. 

Everything else just gets in the way.
Vivianism #74 One of my skill sets is reading first impressions of people. That’s a double edged sword…and can lead to judging folks, and not fairly. I’ve been aware of it, I’ve grown and thought that I had made great strides in NOT doing that…not exactly the case…I still have work to do. Proof that when we think we’ve got something licked…we still need to be aware of it! Much love and respect…keeping in mind we’re all works progress.
Vivianism #75 Perhaps I’m the only one who feels this way…and if so, fine. I’m of the mindset that when you’re attending a drag show it is proper etiquette to tip, at the very least, the performer who’s show you’re attending…EVEN if you only other entertainer you tip is your friend, pal, mister sister, etc. Have some class for crying out loud.
Vivianism #76 It’s not all about that base for the Von B’s….(sorry if I’ve managed to get that song stuck in your head this early in the morning), it’s not all about the end result either. To me personally it’s about the journey…were you honorable in your actions, were you authentic, were you true? The most important thing I’ve learned in my journey is that I will come to my own conclusions about others, based on MY experiences with them. I’ll not believe what I hear from the jealous, the negative, the insecure who so easily speak up and against others. How do YOU plan on making your journey?
Vivianism #77 I get no great satisfaction than when I can be part of a group of entertainers that give selflessly of their time and talent for a charity/cause. Mr Von B and I were invited to attend the Kaleidoscope Youth Center Annual Garden Party today. The venue was beautiful and the food delicious…I was so very touched by the young man who was chosen as the second Youth of the Year 2014. Proof that the efforts of fundraising are put to such good use as we in Columbus invest in our future. Thank you Bob Barnes, Robert Hardin-Leeth, Dean Cox and all of the volunteers and board members who provide so much! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
Vivianism #78 Payment. It’s the way our society works. You exchange some form of tender for products or services. You get groceries, you pay for them. You get gas for your car, you pay for it. You are the winning bidder on eBay, you pay for it. For the life of my I do NOT understand entertainers. They order a costume, pick it up, wear it, and haven’t paid for it. Huh? The same can be said for jewelry, wigs, services such as photographers, videographers, posters, show advts, etc. If you CONTRACT with someone to do something for you, PAY them for it. Ignoring emails or invoices, not returning phone calls, avoiding folks when your out and about is just super shitty. I pay for my items promptly….my costumes are paid for before I even go to KY to pick them up, (with the exceptoin of Pat giving me a final total), which is then paid within a matter of hours. If you’re not paying…be it on time, late or not at all, you’re making yourself look horrible. Your name crosses many lips when you don’t live up to your commitments….and it will affect how everyone sees you. If you can’t afford to pay, don’t place the order. Don’t screw over someone else…they have bills to pay too!
Ok, rambling rant complete.
Vivianism #79 I was taught four little words growing up, “Think before you speak.” Sure, I’ve not always been successful at it. Who has? Did anyone else learn this lesson? Based on recent posts on fb I’d say no.
Whether you agree or not, WORDS have meaning. They mean different things to different people. Since when did it become accpetable to demean and disrespect ANYONE who fights to have the use of inflamatory words kept in check?
Think before you speak. Since we really don’t “speak” to one another anymore, how about we THINK BEFORE WE POST? Give it a try, see what happens.
Vivianism #80…funny how there are those in life who like to stand and give the “stank eye” from a distance but once approached they scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on…..
Vivianism #81 The truth will ALWAYS be found out….say what you want, play whatever games you choose. A liar has no memory….all it took was a Facebook post to reveal the truth…by YOU. Vindication…if only the Mr. & I are the ones who know, the rest don’t matter.
Vivianism #82 I will never understand the need for some to be so hostile, hate filled, finger pointing members of society. Perhaps the collective “we” have always been that way and some of us never saw it. Perhaps social media has given people a plaftorm to spew hate and negativity. Personally I find much more satisfaction in being helpful, positive and injecting some humor into life. I don’t have time for the hate and negativity. Life is short…why not enjoy it?
Vivianism #83 Unsolicited Feedback. This is a rough one. Sure, if you’ve got a close relationship with the “deliverer” or the “deliveree” it’s most likely fine.
I do not offer feedback, critiques, or helpful tips that are really disguised criticisms to anyone unless asked. Even then there is a fine line with being helpful and just being rude. This is true even if the person asked for the feedback. Just because they asked doesn’t mean they want to really know….they may be fishing more for a compliment. Drag queens, kings, entertainers of every kind….(I’m using drag to simplify but all are included) of drag is personal to the entertainer. And while I don’t offer “feedback” I don’t really want it from others….because I didn’t ask for it. Don’t come up and volunteer your feedback to me…because we both know you’re more interested in providing a critique. I do my own, very personal thing and make my choices purposefully and carefully. Sure, I’ve put the wrong thing together, and trust me, looking in the mirror before taking the stage, I sure as hell know what is and isn’t working. So do I care that you think I should have worn different hair, shoes or lipstick? FUCK no. If you want to spend the time and money to look like YOU think I should look, have at it. I’m not interested.
Now don’t confuse “feedback” with a compliment. I give out compliments freely and often! If I like something a lot…I may even gush all over you about it. Sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just can’t help myself….I’m a positive person at my core. So sure, compliment often….they’re free, put a smile on someone else’s face. What’s stopping you?
Vivianism #84 Patience is a virtue, so I’ve been told. It wasn’t one of the traits I was born with and as a result I diligently work on it…and by that I mean WORK on it. I have become very adept at subconsciously controlling my impatience. While I don’t have a good poker face, it does enable me to hold my tongue and to keep my cool. A even keeled temper isn’t one of those traits I got either.
The downside to all of this, I keep it all in check until there is an overabundance of frustration pent up, and when we get to the maximum pent up level…it’s gonna blow. Now to be fair it’s not a total out of control “going postal” kind of rampage. It’s more of a sharp tongued, pointed, focused energy.
But to be fair, if you push me to that point, you’ve earned your right to receive it. I’ll only take someone’s bullshit for so long. Then we’ll have a come to Jesus talk and lay our cards out on the table.
Just in case you were wonderin’
Vivianism # 85 It’s stuff like this that makes me glad I had to learn how to diagram a sentence my senior year, as well as spelling for what seemed like an eternity. Lady boys, it’s stretch fabric, not streatch. It’s sequinned, not sequenced. Under the sun (that big orangish/yellow ball in the sky) not son…that’s your male offspring. Oh the things you see on the book of faces.
Vivianism #86 I really do know some of the best peeps around!
Vivianism #87 The trash always ends up taking itself out. Another block, and trust me, I’m actually flattered! If I’m so threatening as a person, entertainer, friend, etc, and you feel the need to block me I’ve not lost a thing, not even a penny’s worth from my life. So while the recent blocker won’t see this post, to all you potential future blockers….go ahead, click that button….make my day! <insert hysterical laughing track here>
Vivianism #88 Take some pride in how you look, kings, queens…all entertainers really. Fit is critical….your costume shouldn’t be sliding off your shoulder, sleeves long enough to cover your fingertips, (unless they are designed so), pants are not too long, gowns aren’t so long you’re tripping, or so short that they are a foot of the ground, etc. Gents/Kings, if you’re sucking it in to get your jackets buttoned, get the next size up so it buttons and see a good tailor. It will make all the difference in the world in how the audience perceives you. Queens…make sure the dress zips up the back…if it doesn’t and you SHOW us your back…well, see above comments about a tailor.
Wrinkles. My pet peeve. Taffeta wrinkles, I know, I’ve got many pieces made of it….I also carry wrinkle release (Downy is the brand I use) and it works, now if you’ve got a cotton costume, press it before the show, if it’s wrinkled in transit, spray it down with some wrinkle release. Don’t look like you just crawled out of a suitcase…and if you did, who cares, just don’t LOOK like you did.
PRIDE in your appearance….give the audience less to critique and more to like about you. Simple roadblocks to remove from your overall performance.
Vivianism #89 Perhaps it’s just me, a throwback to my conservative, republican, church centered upbringing….and that’s OK. Does anyone else find the current trend to turn the facebook into a hookup site disturbing? There is a plethora of “social networking” sites for that, Grindr, Bear411, Growlr, Manhunt, Gay.com Craigslist for god’s sake and probably some that I’m missing. Sure, I’ll comment “woof” on a photo every now and again, or “cakes” but it’s all in jest. It’s disturbing what you can read in some of these comments.
Clean it up folks….have a little class. At least troll via private messages. roflmao!
Vivianism #90 So I’m guessing most everyone knows that the majority of “social apps” show a message has been “delivered or sent”, who “read” it, switches to “everyone” after all have read it, and the shows who “left” a conversation. (the last few are specific to fb messaging) So once all parties have “read” the message and you take the time to do the extra point and clicks to :”leave” said message, why on earth would you then message via a separate app saying you hadn’t read the message yet? Why lie?
I guess anyone who’s not totally on the up and up is bound to show their true colors….you could have simply said, no thanks not interested. Or even NO response. I get that from people all the time when I contact them about a benefit, and that’s fine, I’ll take your silence as a no and move on. But to go to the trouble of lying about it? Wow. Good for you.
Peace out!
Vivianism #91 Removing stress inducing people in my life has really paid off. I’m more relaxed, the Mister is more relaxed and we are having so much more FUN as a couple as a result. We’re enjoying LIFE! I surround myself with those that I choose to be surrounded with, and certainly not because I feel obligated.
Life is busy as it is, and short….as we are reminded of on a daily basis…..so make the most, enjoy it, and surround yourselves with positivity!
Muah!
Vivianism #92 It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out if people are running to you telling you what OTHERS “said” about you, it’s a pretty sure bet they’re also flapping their gums about YOU too.
That being said, what others say about me is none of my business. Believe what you hear or not….it makes no difference to me

Vivianism #93 Pride cometh before the fall. There was a bible story that I remember growing up about someone doing good deeds for show and another man who did good deeds quietly and behind the scenes. Hopefully your heart is in the right place and you’re not looking to increase your “social value” or standing in the community. I encourage everyone to show goodwill, walking dogs at the pound, volunteering in a soup kitchen, donating blankets or clothes to a homeless shelter, etc but it kind of spoils it for me when they then plaster it all over and stand up and say “Look what I’ve done.”
I don’t know, just my own thoughts….of which I’m entitled to post on my page, the same way everyone else can. I’ve made my choices, I don’t “follow” those folks anymore. The journey is more important than the destination. Sometimes the things we learn along the way change where we’re going…..that’s pretty awesome.
If you think this is about you, then sadly it probably is….keep in mind I’m not pointing fingers at anyone – I have my own life to keep straight…so perhaps you should do a little self examination….that’s up to you.
Vivianism #94 If an issue doesn’t involve you directly….how about we try this on for size….stay the HELL out of it! Did someone say something directly to you? No? then shove off. Yes? Approach the person like an ADULT and have a conversation…this crap about starting WW3 on the facebook is just childish. We will NOT see equality for our community when we live and perpetuate every single stereotype out there.
Vivianism #95 You can’t fix stupid. I just posted that as a comment in response to a status. Don’t get into a pissing match with a skunk. Choose your battles wisely. All three sayings are worthy advice. Some people are simply NOT worth my energy. Period. Why you may ask, because I don’t really care about them. At all. If I did, I’d accept offers to get together, attend an event, invite them to an event, you know, whatever it is that friends or acquaintances do. Now don’t think that if I decline an event I don’t care about you…there is the insane schedule and life in general that we all keep.
Sometimes it’s best to just cut the line and walk away. No hard feelings, no ill will or wishing harm up on them….they are just too stupid to deal with. It all started with one of my favorites, “unfollow”…..and that worked for several months, but it’s come down to the more obvious use of “unfriend”. If it were to get ugly, I’m guessing “block” would be my last resort.

Vivianism #96 here’s a thought….and it’s not new, and I didn’t come up with it…but it’s still quite powerful. If you are NOT part of the solution, YOU ARE part of the problem.

Vivianism #97 Censorship totally pisses me off. You want everything to appear all nicey nice… sure you go right ahead and remove my comments. Everyone knows the truth. We’ll chat soon enough. Smooches.
Vivianism #98 If you say you’re going to do something, either do it, or have the courtesy, at the very least to tell me you can’t do it. Forcing me to follow up doesn’t make me look bad, it makes YOU look bad for yet again, failing to deliver. And not just failing to meet a deadline, but absolutely NO communication and no product. I guess I need to make some changes. I hate change, I much prefer building business relationships that are mutually beneficial. Annoyed. Over it. Time to make the lemonade!